Last weekend I attended the wedding of my college roommate who now regrettably lives in Columbus, OH. Immediately after landing at the airport I got my rental car and headed to a local Starbucks to poke around online until my date for the weekend arrived. Which is where I crafted the following email to multiple people out of pure shock and awe:
I have been here no more than 30 minutes and have seen the following:
1) 4 elderly (60+) gentlemen decked in OSU gear head to toe (literally, shoes and all) 2) minimum of 17 OSU jerseys on overweight middle-aged men 3) A 90s Jeep Cherokee LITERALLY duct taped together (desperately wish I could have gotten a picture). 4) A guy (wearing OSU jersey, obvio) in line at Starbucks uttering the phrase to his dad(?) “In my particular current situation it would be in my best interests to not get paid for this”. 5) Said dad, ordering a sausage breakfast sandwich before canceling said order when shocked and appalled that it was not, and I quote, Bob Evans Sausage on the sandwich.